Preserving The Truth Without Offending
Reprinted by permission of the author...
We have all made discoveries of unsavory and even embarrassing
information regarding our ancestors. It does prompt a unique situation for those of us who
would desire to "preserve the truth" but also "not offend the living"
who have feelings too. If only life itself were so easy......
We have ALL experienced the ire of hearing one version of history being taught but in our
research, have uncovered a vastly different version of the same event. Many times the
documents we uncover in some forgotten box in a county courthouse contain names, dates and
details about the same events which vary from popular history. Many times, we are told to
"forget" about it and don't stir the ashes. "But THAT is my ancestors; my
people that you're hiding!" we internalize. Who is going to perpetuate the truth if
we don't? Consider this for a minute...
A) Is the information documented?
We encounter a unique situation when we start extrapolating and inputting our own
conjecture as to the events and what actually occurred. I have a 3rd great-grandfather who
had 2 illegitimate daughters. Before I learned of this, I had obtained a book in which
there was a considerable amount of information that was not correct but, technically, it
was not wrong either. When I contacted the author of the book, I was informed that I had
no information that he did not already have and that if I did, it was wrong. He then asked
me for it and said that he would give me credit for the information when he wrote his next
book. When I continued to inquire of his sources (mine were actual official documents),
out of nowhere, he states "Well, no one likes it to be inferred that they are
illegitimate or descended from someone who was." I thought "WHAT? Where on earth
did this statement come from?" He had "cleaned up" the family's history to
the point that he had actually eliminated one whole line. In his attempt to
"preserve the family honor" he had effectively eliminated nearly one whole
branch of the family tree.
B) How much do we remove or change and why? Is the
information really essential?
When we begin to censure documented fact (a matter of public record, we are no longer
historians and researchers. We have now become conjecturists and pontificators. No matter
how much we dress up the event, we have effectively changed history and maybe even blocked
someone else's research in the process. While public executions are definitely NOT
palatable, these were events which were witnessed by a great number of people, other
people's ancestors, who may be mentioned by name. Someone's ancestor's sat on the grand
juries, polled for convictions and testified in Debtor's Courts.
In matters which involved the legal system and government, official public record may
exist or your information may turn out to be the only documentation in existence and may
well be that one piece in the puzzle that someone else may need to break down that
infamous wall we've all run up against.
We have a responsibility to preserve the truth, at all cost. What
is that cost? It varies for each individual and each individual must weigh, within
themselves, what are their goals, objectives and (most importantly) their motivation and
reasoning behind what they are doing.
If the event is a matter of public record, record it EXACTLY as it appears in the record.
Leave out ALL personal opinion and conjecture. Most feelings are hurt by this one single
fact. We tend to feel like we have to "cover up" or "sugar-coat" the
facts and in actuality, wind up making things worse.
Living individuals have the right to privacy and this MUST BE respected. You do not want
to hurt grandmother's hallowed memory of dear departed grandfather by telling all the
world something that will damage irreparably, the sainted image that grandmother worked so
long to build to all who enter and leave her world. Conversely, you should consider
placing documented proof in such a way so as to tell the exact facts without drawing
attention to it.
I cannot give any suggestions or advice on what to do... I have my own skeletons that I'm
trying to FIND much less keep them hidden. In my case, this is going to be the only way
for me to track my ancestors on one of my lines. Each person is going to have to weigh
what is important to him/her and make their decisions accordingly.
Sincerely,
"Kevin Spargur"
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